BlytheLife.com opened in July 2010 and is a blog and resource hub for all things Blythe!
QOTW: How do you deal with negative comments?
Written on January 28, 2013 at 12:00 pm by MichelleFiled under: Question of the Week
I get negative comments about my dolls, like I’m sure other people in the Blythe community get. I get negative comments from some family members, random strangers, people who think that the internet allows them a sense of anonymity because they’re not “really” speaking out loud. It’s not a generally “accepted” hobby, I’ve found. For some reason, it’s more acceptable to spend money on other things (like booze, clothing, shoes, etc. – not that there’s anything wrong with spending money on these things – I have to say that as I spend money on all three) – but it’s more acceptable to spend money on things like that. Why, I have no idea. But that’s really not the point of me writing this (There’s supposed to be a point to this blog? Oh yes, Blythe!) as I’m supposed to be talking about how I deal with the negative comments about my Blythe dolls.
I try to think the best of people (I really, really do), but sometimes it’s hard – especially when people are trying to bring you down or goad you into an argument about how your dolls are ugly, weird, a waste of money, etc. I try to remind myself that people must not have very interesting lives if they get their kicks from insulting things owned and enjoyed by others. Because, really, they can’t be very interesting if they need to get their amusement at the expense of others. Let’s remember that, and feel pity for the boring people who need to hold onto petty little things to make themselves feel better.
How do you cope with the negative comments regarding Blythe?
In a few words, I don’t care what people think, especially when it comes to the things I collect, simply because it is my money I’m using for my hobby. I’ve seen that writing bad comments is very easy through social networks. My solution: block those nasty users.
I get that. And I think part of it is that they look at it and see toys. So they say, oh she’s 36 and playing with dolls. And I’m all, so what? At least I’m not a drunk, drug addict or horrible to my children like some of those people are. Everyone has a collection of some kind or a hobby. Some people make models, some have a closet of shoes, my husband has motorcycles. I sew and I love dolls. The best thing is to realize they obviously don’t have anything positive to feel passionate about or they wouldn’t be knocking you down for it. And to just ignore them.
I just had a coworker/manager ask me about my dolls, and then pointed to my mab necklace and exclaim, “Ohmigod, you even have jewelry of them. How much did THAT cost?” I felt SO on the spot. Anyone who knows me knows what to expect for an answer: The truth! This woman gasped and I snapped, “You would spend it on a coach bag” and she shut up. Haha.
Ugh ;P I have to say, I just try as hard as I can not to look put upon or embarrassed, I find when I am as overwhelmingly positive about blythe as I truly am when asked about it, people are less likely to keep needling. I feel like when I am eager to share why I feel blythe is worth what she is (rare, unique, customizable, generally AWESOME!), people become more curious and less judgmental. On the contrary, the few times where I clammed up and tried desperately to change the subject, people were more likely to be more annoying about it.
And also bringing up spending $250 on a pair of designer sun glasses that could break or get lost about 100x more easily than a totally awesome doll works too 🙂
I, too, get more curiosity than judgement when I explain the creativity that these dolls inspire. In fact, I may have inspired a few converts! So many of my Blythe friends customize or design and sew outfits for the dolls. I know others who design and build dioramas, too.
Think of the retirees who make models of cars or are into trains. What is the difference? My 60 year old brother makes plane and tank models and yet commented to my sister about my dolls. She laughed and told him that my hobby makes more sense to her than his.
Oh, dear. I get this kind of thing all the time, not just about the “weirdness” of the hobby (aren’t all hobbies weird, when you get down to it?) but of the dolls themselves. People have no problem with telling me how scary or freaky or ugly they are, even when they can clearly see that I like them and have many of them. It’s somehow socially acceptable for them to talk about how they dislike my hobby.
While sometimes I feel judged and it’s unpleasant, I just try and respond with understanding and patience and say something like, “Yeah, dolls can be a little freaky sometimes!” or “I totally get that! I like them, but they aren’t for everyone.” In the end I at least have the comfort of knowing that I handled it with grace.