Is it Okay to Ask For A Doll?

Written on September 16, 2016 at 12:00 pm by Michelle
Filed under: Musings

I honestly struggled with myself about whether or not to write about this. I regularly get emails or messages regarding Blythe dolls because of It is a bit of an occupational hazard as a blogger that readers will attempt to contact you to ask questions. Generally, they’re easy to answer questions like “Where can I buy a Blythe doll?” or “Does (insert name of online retailer) sell fakes?”, but sometimes it gets a little bit… condescending and insulting.

I was recently engaged via email by a person I’d never interacted with before, let’s call her Eggplant (because I don’t like the taste of eggplant, and she left a bad taste in my mouth). Eggplant was new to the Blythe hobby, she found photos of the dolls on Etsy or Artfire or something, and then found BlytheLife via a Google search. She emailed me to thank me for providing great information to newbies (Awesome! I love it when I get positive feedback!), and then it got a little weird. I had exchanged maybe 15 or so emails with her, she asked easy-to-answer questions about the dolls, and then came this:

“I know from reading your blog that you have a lot of dolls and you got some as gifts. Could you please give me one?”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?!

First of all, we had established a bit of rapport with each other, which is all fine and dandy. She had asked me where to buy the dolls and I referred her to a few choice online shops (and then thanked me for the information), which resulted in her stating that the dolls are just too much money and how she would never be able to afford one and then she dropped the above into the email.


Yes, I have many dolls – probably more than the average collector. I have also received a few as gifts (from my parents, as birthday and Christmas gifts). Sure, Eggplant seemed nice and all (at first), but in no uncertain terms did I offer to give her a doll or offer to subsidize her entrance into the Blythe hobby – because frankly, no. I love my dolls, they’re mine for a reason. I found it incredibly ballsy to be asked to give her one of my dolls. I wrote a polite (but somewhat more cold) email in return to basically state that my dolls are mine and at the current time, I am not interested in parting with any of them. What did I get as a reply? Well, along with some choice colourful words, came this gem:

“You’re so selfish, I thought you were nice.”

If it’s selfish to want to keep parts of my collection as mine, then I don’t want to be selfless. Nice has nothing to do with not giving away something that I own. Sure, it doesn’t hurt to ask someone for something – because if you don’t ask, you never know what the answer will be. At least that’s what I’ve always been told. But what it will hurt is the relationship/friendship that you’re trying to establish – because I’m now always going to see Eggplant as the person who just chatted me up to get something for free, and then called me rude things because I politely said no to giving her a doll.

Yes, I have dolls. Yes, dolls are expensive and they are essentially a luxury hobby. That doesn’t mean that someone who has dolls than someone else is required to give them up or “share the wealth”, as it were. You’re not going to hit up a local charity because you desperately need a doll – because it’s not necessary for survival. I frequently make donations to charities that I care about – from animal welfare groups, to providing food for children who live below the poverty line in my own province, to organizations who are struggling to get clean drinking water to people in Canada. But the beauty is the ability to who to donate to – and someone who feels entitled to a doll (and then lashes out when they don’t get their way), is not a behaviour or person that I want to encourage.

(In short, the answer to the question in the title is: no. Unless someone is asking you what you want as a gift, and they give you a budget that could encompass the purchase of a doll, the answer is no.)

7 Responses to “Is it Okay to Ask For A Doll?”

  1. K. AKA @MaidenCanada

    I think that if someone asked me something like that they would get a list of expletives as long as the Mississippi River and about 50 times as deep! No matter what the hobby or passion you have in life someone will always have more or less. That’s life…don’t be an ass and assume that someone who has more is just going to give you something.
    Eggplant is a dbag and ridiculous for calling you selfish.

  2. Kirsten AKA @lady_kire

    My parents taught me that if you really want something, you earn enough to make it happen. Don’t expect that someone will give you something. I have never once asked my family or even my fiancee to get me a Blythe doll because I know that I can save up for one. Eggplant is rude for calling you selfish.

  3. Anne AKA @anneheathen

    I have to wonder about this person! On the one hand, perhaps they are just very young/inexperienced and don’t know that this is a ridiculous thing to ask a stranger on the internet? Or maybe they are just a scam artist. I can’t imagine ANYONE giving someone a Blythe without having established a relationship stronger than the exchange of a few emails. I would have been offended by their response, too!

  4. Katie AKA @kultofkulta

    I’ve also have a few n00bs email me asking where to buy a doll, whinging about the price and then asking me to give them one. I never replied. I hate this self entitlement that some people have. I work in 3 jobs and pay for my own stuff. If I were giving away a doll it would be to someone that I know will appreciate what I’ve done. If you’re asking strangers for dolls them clearly you don’t. Recently some fuckwad left a comment on Blythopia insulting me and calling me a snob because I like stock dolls and don’t like fakes… take your fugly fakes and fuck off “anonymous”.

  5. Katie AKA @kultofkulta

    I totally thought this post was going to be about people hassling to buy other people’s dolls lol…not just get them for free.

  6. Happyblythes says:

    Interesting read. And I would be taken aback if someone asked me the same question.
    I do have a number of people asking me questions about Blythe partly probably because I started the local Blythe FB group and am quite active in it and in meets and so forth. I try my best to answer all questions but sometimes people just disappear without any word or any thanks and pop back again when they have another question and the conversations never get deeper than having their questions answered. and I feel used. Sometimes the questions are just very googleable and I wonder why I have become Google. Maybe people need to stop and think why they believe others are obliged to help them get into the hobby. We help because we want to, not because we have to. It’s been pretty thankless and I still continue to answer questions and update my blog posts but this kind of self-entitlement as described in this post is beyond me.

  7. Ekaterina says:

    Wow, just wow. That might be some kid who didn’t find out from her parents that it’s impolite to ask strangers for freebies even if you want something real real bad. In my local doll collecting community I only saw kids who were asking for Monster High almost exactly in the same manner. Grown-ups sometimes try to kick off prices on dolls, even the ones very reasonably priced and the cheapest of collectibles like Barbies, by complaining that doll hobby is expensive. Well ok it is. And it is indeed a luxury hobby, as you stated. Making up wishlists helps!
    I personally gave away several of my dolls, less expensive than Blythes though. But I can only do that to a close friend, someone I love. And that can’t be a doll I have a tight bond with. But I won’t play a role of a good girl from an old-fashioned book who gives away her beloved something to a stranger who just wants it in order to act as a little saint…

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